Issues Under Fire: Spies Lies and Really Dumb Guys

From domestic snooping of the Associated Press to international spying on the Russians, the U.S. has bungled its cover big time. The domestic issue, we'll pass on for the moment, for it's far less embarrassing beyond U.S. shores.

However, when America's best agent is busted by Russia's FSB still carrying his how to be a spy manual, we think this deserves more attention. Although they kicked the dumb ass undercover embassy employee out of the country, the Russians are refusing to return his decoder ring. Undoubtedly, Russian and Chinese high tech crews are in the process of reverse engineering the cleverly retro appearing device for its military and commercial application. Look for them on the shelves of you local Wal-Mart in the fall.

Note to CIA: Stop all recruiting from community colleges immediately.

We recognize the savage cuts the nation has been forced to endure due to Washington irresponsibly allowing Sequestration to go into to effect, but never in a million years would we have guessed the quality of government personnel would sink so low, so fast. Kinda makes you think the next Seal Team Six will be armed with rusty muskets and holes in the soles of their boots. Surly we can do better than this.

We're retro. We remember the spies guys as the cool guys. Don't you remember James Bond? He'd never be caught dead in a blond wig with a note promising millions for someone's cooperation in ratting out their own country. When the call went out for someone who could pass for a real dumb ass, someone who'd least be suspected of having the intelligence to be involved in intelligence, the government realized due to budgetary constraints, they could only afford the real thing. Bingo, we got Ryan Fogle, third secretary of the Political Department of the U.S. Embassy in Moscow. If only we could be at Mr. Fogle's debriefing when he returns to the states. Talk about LOL!

BTW, all kidding aside, we gotta redirect your attention back to Gitmo. The tale is getting hotter by the day and we need to monitor the temperature carefully.