Issues Under Fire: My Dog Doobie Has Been Radicalized
As you may recall, it was only several weeks ago we had to miss work because our dog Doobie was arrested, charged and convicted of driving without a license, driving under the influence, possession of a large and especially potent amount of marijuana, as well as resisting arrest. When Doobie was placed on house arrest for six months, all breathed a sigh of relief.
Unfortunately, rather than accept this slap on the paw as a stroke of luck and move on, Doobie became distant and sullen. Spending more and more time alone, and online, Doobie seemed less tolerant and irritable as the days passed. Someone should have realized something was up when Doobie started wearing a Taqiyah (muslim skullcap). We all thought it was a fashion statement. It wasn't until he started reading and ranting from holy books that we got the creeps.
Suddenly, the studio was free of weed smoke. There were no beer cans and tequila bottles strewn about outside of Doobie's door. There were no bitches showing up in the middle of the night anymore. Doobie started praying all the time. A last count, he was head bowed and pointed east at least five times a day. Concerned he'd joined some weird cult, we started to keep a closer eye on Doobie. But it was too late!
Late last night, Doobie chewed through his ankle monitor, stole some cash, a few credit cards, keys to a company car and made his way to JFK. Sneaking past security and stowing away in the landing gear compartment of a boeing 777 bound for Istanbul, Doobie was on his way. By the time we noticed the dog was gone, a neighbor received a tweet from Doobie stating, he'd taken over the aircraft, was demanding 25 million euros and clearance to land at some remote airstrip outside of Damascus.
Shortly thereafter, we a got call from the DHS requesting our cooperation and an "interview", to help them with an ongoing investigation. Well, you've probably guessed by now, work this Friday is out of the question. Hence, it is with our deepest regret, this horrible tale has to be the reason for missing work this today. Imagine how difficult its going to be convincing the authorities a Yorkie could do all this without help!
Bottom line: Like anybody would be, we're shocked and in total disbelief that anything like this could actually happen. But if you've been watching cable news lately, you should know by now, anything is possible. Besides, if you think this tale is strange, you never know what could prevent an honest slacker from making it to work next Friday. C-Ya Monday. Hopefully!
BTW, you've not been left in a lurch. We got Rocky Jordan in The Coward of Mutah Kahn 1949 just below. Expat, cool guy, club owner, hard hitting sleuth and all around wise ass, takes on all comers from some of Egypt's darkest back alleys. In this week's episode, when Rocky spots a Muslin chap enter his gin joint, he knew nothing but trouble would be following. He was right! Enjoy and share.
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