No need for fairy tales, fantastic stories or outright lies today, for we're legitimately and voluntarily taking leave of our senses for awhile. No news, commentary, opinions or analysis should be expected until Monday Dec. 1st. All brainwaves are purposely being flatlined just in time for the Thanksgiving holiday.
Actually, we're looking forward to putting our minds in neutral for awhile. Imagine the thought of having no thoughts. Imagine a blank brain. Imagine vacating any and all mental activity or exercise for days on end. Imagine what that feels like. No, really, can you imagine what that feels like? If you can, you're probably really smart and you should use it to your advantage.
It takes brains to turn a mind off and be able to turn it back on again at will. Some people who try to relax their minds for more than a minute or two, find themselves intellectually sluggish and slow witted. Some report tripping a lot, falling down stairs and saying stupid things to friends and relatives. Others report slurred speech and blurred vision. If you are one of these people, you've either succeeded in shutting your brain down or you've had too much to drink.
Since Thanksgiving is an occasion where some can be forced to reconnect with people they've avoided throughout the year, we'd recommend showing up for dinner in a near catatonic state. Have someone wheel you into the dining room with a drool bucket and feed bag affixed to your chin. Try and capture that Stephen Hawking's look. Have them place you in the corner to frighten the children at the kids table, but still close enough to the adults to be unnerving.
After a few "wet" after dinner farts and a gastronomic disaster in your shorts, insist the host assist you in the bathroom. That should do it. Guest are bound to talk. They'll wonder what the hell happened to you. Why weren't they told they'll be asking one another. We should've been warned they'll say.
It won't be long before a whispering campaign will be started to make sure you're never invited to Thanksgiving dinner again. After all who wants to break bread, when somebody keeps breaking wind. When you leave, the horrified host will likely sanitize and fumigate the all the areas you occupied. You'll never be forgotten.
It won't be long before a whispering campaign will be started to make sure you're never invited to Thanksgiving dinner again. After all who wants to break bread, when somebody keeps breaking wind. When you leave, the horrified host will likely sanitize and fumigate the all the areas you occupied. You'll never be forgotten.
Bottom line: Although your reputation may be as sullied as the soiled seat-covers left behind, you can rest assured, this will be the last time you'll have to engage your family of dullards, dolts and doofuses. And to think, all it took was to act like a dummy!
BTW, as per usual, just below, you'll find another slick radio Rocky Jordan drama entitled "My Quiet Friend 1949. Details: Cairo club owner operator Rocky Jordan takes trouble with a grain of salt, until he has to pepper some creep with a few right jabs for getting out of line. In this action packed episode, Rocky nearly meets his match with a couple of hoods from New York intent on strong-arming him out of his spot. Enjoy and share.
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