Slack Slacker Gets A Promotion by lbines
Issues Under Fire: Meet Slack Slacker
Allow me to introduce myself. The name is Slack Slacker, but you can call me Slack. (No need to be formal.) Before I get too deep into reminiscing over wild tales of how I've avoided a hard day's work all my life, I think you should know a little bit about the author of such nonsense.
Firstly, I don't like work of any kind. I never have and I never will. It's as simple as that. Don't get me wrong, I like money as well as the next guy, I just don't think its worth working hard for it. Of course, you would think someone like me would end up supporting himself through a life of crime, but you'd be wrong. You'd be very wrong.
Crime requires a great deal of planning and preparation. If you don't want to go to jail, you have to put in a lot of hard work, planning and preparing. Therefore, there'd have to be another way to earn a living without working hard for money or working hard to steal it.
Since I was the kid daydreaming in class when I wasn't playing hooky, I always had to be ready with a good story to explain my absence and or my absentmindedness. Example: When caught dazed and or otherwise mentally engaged in math class, I had no problem coming up with; "But Mr. Schlockstein, I was contemplating a possible flaw in Einstein's theory of relativity". Not bad for a three-time sixth grader, but It was answers like that, that got me more than a few trips to the principal's office.
By the way, you'd be surprised how long it can take a kid to walk to the principal's office. After stopping for water, hanging out in the boy's lavatory and making faces through the doors of every classroom along the way, you could burn a whole hour off the school day. Since the only thing the teacher would do was to sends notes to my mom that was never going to make it home, I didn't have to worry until the first parent and teacher's meeting.
Eventually, I got so good at telling over the top tales of fantasy during my formative years and on through six years of university, I decided to employ this valuable skill throughout my career of avoiding work on the job. While I've been employed at many companies and firms across the nation, I have yet to put in a full days work at any of them. Currently, I am working at company just like yours, so beware. You could be covering the ass of a guy like me right now.
While someone will return for another edition of Issues Under Fire Monday, you can rest assured it won't be Slack Slacker. Enjoy your weekend.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We got another cool episode of Rocky Jordan just below for your entertainment. This one is entitled, The Big Ditch. Enjoy and share
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